Identity of Sir Naipaul

I was napping on a concrete floor during the afternoon. I was in a remote village approximately 250 km from Bangalore in the middle of Bandipur, an Indian National Park. From my perspective the floor seemed to be pressing hard against me, though I felt it should have been the other way around. I decided the feeling was poetic. I was only pushing against myself.

I had just finished reading the beginning of a book 'India: A Wounded Civilization' by VS Naipaul, a Trinidadian born Indian like myself. Reading this book in India is haunting. It really is like reading about me. His account of India mirrors my own experience even though the book was written 32 years ago. He is very critical of the country but the following struck a deep chord within me:

"India is for me a difficult country. It isn't my home and cannot be my home; and yet I cannot reject it or be indifferent to it; I cannot travel only for the sights. I am at once too close and too far."

I decided that I would like to meet Sir Naipaul. I feel that he would be able to tell me about me. He would tell me what its supposed to be like to have lived a life as a Trinidadian born Indian living abroad. He would explain how he coped with appearing to be Indian yet feeling disconnected from India.

From what I hear about Sir Naipaul, he would tell me to be me. His reputation as a Nobel Prize winning author defines him simply and yet completely as V.S. Naipaul. Would he tell me to define myself simply and completely as Rajiv Ramdeo? Perhaps that his solution to having a complex identity and perhaps that is exactly what enables him to be outstanding.